Most of us have had family members, friendships and even significant others in our lives who seem to bring us down. Maybe you still have to deal with that guy or girl who you continue to put up with because you think you have to or simply out of fear of being alone. If you care about yourself, and you absolutely should, you may want to reevaluate whom you let into your life.
Growing up all I knew was dysfunctional relationships. I witnessed unhealthy dynamics at home and much of the negativity I endured resulted in me lacking any type of self-confidence. I also did not have an understanding of how having positive influences could truly benefit me. In short, my upbringing and background resulted in years of self-destructive behaviors and me cultivating relationships with people who were not good for me. You know the friend who never encouraged you and always had something negative to say. Also add to that the boyfriend who was always a jerk. I even had an unhealthy marriage.
Eventually I found myself committed to a life long journey of self-discovery and growth. I also took control of my body and mind. I have invested a considerable amount of time and effort exercising and eating right, but I have also raised the bar for those I choose to surround myself with. As you continue to want more for yourself and put in the work required to move forward, you also redefine the types of relationships that make sense for you.
I’m no longer married, I have said goodbye to friendships that no longer serve me in a positive way, I have now aligned myself with people who lift me up and have cultivated relationships that are mutually beneficial. I used to have this huge fear of never wanting to be alone and because of that fear, I settled for anything. I am telling you that it’s not worth it. I happily live my life today on my own because it is much better than settling for relationships that would only bring me down. I am responsible for the choices I make for my life and today I take that to heart because I understand healthy relationships are what make me thrive.
Remember no one has the right to bring you down. It doesn’t matter if they’re your blood, best friend from when you were 5 years old or even spouse. You decide the people you let in and who you don’t. If you are unhappy with the quality of relationships around you then it may be time to reevaluate and figure out if it’s worth having certain people around you. Granted I am not saying to end a relationship based on a series of disagreements, but if someone around you is constantly putting you in a bad place you may want to ask yourself if it’s time for you to move on.
Healthy relationships occur when the people involved are coming from a healthy place to begin with. I had to learn over time to not take things personally, but feel empathy for the people who took time out of their life to put me down. Eventually I had enough strength within me to walk away from people and set healthier boundaries with others. The fears I had of abandonment and being alone were simply lies. My positive relationships push me to continue to be better.
What ended up happening was me living my best life now. If you’re truly looking for a better healthier quality of life, focus on those around you just as much as tracking your calories and lifting that barbell! You’ll be thankful you did. I know I am!