I used to be a product of being conditioned to think a certain way. From my earliest memories, I thought I had to look and behave a certain way. For the most part as tough as it was to grow up the way I did, my parents did managed to instill some good values in me. Despite years of growing up in a broken home I did learn to be polite and work for the things I wanted.
Yes I am a huge advocate of fitness, but over time I have realized fitness is more than just physical. I also think, as much as we need to carve out time to exercise and eat right, we should also spend just as much effort working on our minds and spirituality.
I thrive off of structure; punctuality and planning so needless to say this mentality made me think my life had to play out a certain way by a certain time because everyone else around me was doing the same thing. I always thought I would be married with children by now because that’s what everyone else was doing and because that is what I felt I had to do.
Fast forward many years later and I have been married more than once and am currently single. Life will throw you plenty of curveballs and despite how much you want something to work out there are times you just have to let things go. Did I think at 38 I would be single with no kids? Nope! Sometimes making the harder choices and giving into your deepest fears actually puts you in a better place when risks are taken. I say this because I actually had issues with being alone, which is why I allowed toxic situations to continue longer than I should have. Today I am in a much better place because I was willing to say enough is enough and accepting my past is my past.
I won’t lie and say I haven’t had moments where I questioned my life and wondered if there was something I wasn’t doing right. I am not perfect. My troubled past resulted in me chasing perfection and validation because deep down I was seeking fulfillment from all the wrong places. Today I am the woman I am because of my faith and I am extremely grateful I found my way.
Sure perhaps my life isn’t what someone would call typical and the old me would have had issues with the way my life has turned out. I can assure you though that I am absolutely happy right now in my present and have more joy in my heart than I ever thought possible. My focus is no longer on filling a void because my faith has gotten stronger and that void is no longer present. I have realized life is such a precious gift and living in the present with a grateful heart is what its all about.
I have learned that I needed to be in a healthy place in order to be able to receive certain things. This includes any type of successful relationship. My outlook on life and how I feel about myself has changed so drastically over the years in a good way. Who knows what the future holds, but I will continue to live my best life because that’s what I am supposed to do. Life truly is what you will make out of it and settling isn’t an option for me anymore.
I have been blessed with so many experiences over the years, a career I love, wonderful friends and have discovered passions I never thought would be possible because I have found my way. I am no longer a victim because my faith has pulled me out of a dark place and has given me the strength to overcome so many obstacles. Just because life doesn’t end up the way we’re conditioned to think doesn’t mean you can’t live a fulfilled and happy life. There is no right way. I am open to anything now. God’s timing is incredible and I know he has good things planned for me. Why? Because my faith is strong and he promises!
Don’t feel like you have to have things all figured out and you have to live by a certain blue print because society or people around you make you feel like you need to. When you strive to be your best self I truly believe things will fall into place exactly the way it’s supposed to.
